Welcome to Paradise, Montana

Our flights were long but uneventful, considering my three traveling companions 9 and under. Addie and Ainsleee have always been the perfect travelers once over the age of three. Then Garrett, well, I would hve to type volumes of books to adequately chronicle our history of his traveling intolerance. Most of you know.

So we are headed to our friends' home in Whitefish, Montana, but the most reasonable place to arrive via airline was Spokane, Washington, so we flew there, rented a car.....and got a free upgrade when the nice young guy at the counter realized there were four of us with enough luggage for a month's stay.....to a new Chevy Tahoe WITH DVD PLAYER...THANK YOU GOD!!!!! The kids and I were SO excited!!

We had all been up since about 3:30 yesterday morning Eastern Time, but Ainslee and Garrett caught decent naps on the plane...THANK YOU AGAIN, GOD!!!!

They were champs waiting to get luggage, laying over two hours in Minneapolis, waiting for the rental car in line, loading the car....I was so proud of them.

Then we began our drive. The DVD hanging from the ceiling of the car was enough of a phenomenon to them that they were engaged for the first movie, Coraline, which I was later told by Addie was dark, scary, and was never to be viewed again by our family. Okay. But then the movie ended and the raging started. Keep in mind this is an hour and a half into a 4.5 hr drive. Oh, and it's a GORGEOUS drive. I have ridden this route before, but as a passenger. Speed limit is 75 in most places, but I can't see how you can drive that fast on those mountain pass roads.....ooooooooohhhhh..that's how they purge the idiots in Montana...BRILLIANT!!!!! Might need to try that in Louisiana!!! But they would just kill a bunch of innocent, safe drivers. There aren't enough people on the roads here to hit anyone!!!!!

Oh, I digressed......Let me back up. I let Ainslee quit taking her Miralax about 5 days ago. We skipped a day or two and she was doing fine.....having daily movement without drama....but then I made a really stupid decision, although at the time, I thought it might work. She has been on Miralax almost 5 years for constipation and withholding stool. We have backed off a little a few times with no success. We have had her tested for a nerve condition in the intestines, but that wasn't the problem. So we have done high fiber, Miralax, sometimes Senekot. And she moves, sometime soiling underwear a tad, but likely from being in a hurry not wiping well. And she's my busy one.....many times caught crossing legs to hold poop so she doesn't have to stop playing to miss action while pottying. More than you wanted to know, but I wanted to give you enough info to help describe the upcoming situation! So about three days ago, yes, right before our Montana month-long stay, ( later I will insert a photo of me holding the mother of the year trophy and flowers)I sat her down, fluffed her ego about how well she was doing without the medicine, how I thought since she was almost 8, she could just listen to her body better and instead of crossing legs, go to the potty when she feels her body do "that." And day one was fine, then IT started...It is the sludge that leaks out past a huge amount of built-up constipation when the person holds it in. She was soiling panties all day long....and I knew I had made a big mistake!!! SO I scolded her for holding her poop, put her in a pull-up, and put her back on Miralax, and this time, not in juice ever again, but in water, so she will WANT to do what she should and try to do all she can to get off the Miralax. She agreed, and then yesterday on our trip spent the day holding poop, crossing legs, soiling her pull ups with sludge....in planes, airports, public restrooms.....need I say more?? We went to the potty in two airports, one gas station and one McDonalds, and then we came to a tiny settlement in Montana about two hours into the 4.5 hour drive, which was rapidly turning out to be hell. Did I mention the views were breathtaking??

I had heard of this area and even been through it, but didn't remember just how majestic it was. It was something from a painting of the West: glowing green valley with a river at its center, fir trees then mountains jutting up to the heavens on each side of the valley....so perfect. Can I just stay???? Garrett had been raging for about an hour. Nothing we could say or do would stop the screaming, nothing. He made no sense when he talked. I'm tired.....fine, let's get to the house and you can sleep.....NO!!!!!!....I want tractor movie.....we put tractor movie on and get NOOOOOO, NOT TRACTOR!!!!!.....It you said anything to him, he would rage the opposite...no logic, completely miserable, no use trying. So when we pulled into the one block of Paradise, Addie was very fatigued, I could smell Ainlee's poop in her pull up, and Garrett was raging. I saw a little park and a train depot with a couple of engines there (Garrett's favorite!!) and we stopped. Right there with heaven's light shining on it was a port-o-potty!! SO I said that Ainslee had to get out now and get that huge ball of poop out or we were not going anywhere. Put my foot down, huh?? Tough girl, I am. I got everyone out and we enjoyed a walk to see the train. Garrett was so upset he didn't even care....just wanted me to hold him. I took Ainslee to the potty after Addie and Garrett were buckled back into the rental car, both very upset and tired, and Garrett raging....and Ainslee cried because she didn't want to sit on the potty and poop. She wanted to hold it until......college. It was about 84 degrees, but the port o potty was hotter, so I stood there with the door open to help, and no one could see her...shoot, no one lives there but the two people across the block at the bar!!!!! I almost went postal. I was losing my mind. Could see and hear Garrett raging, Addie crying, and I am standing there raising my voice at Ainslee to let her know that her options are to poop or have an enema when we get to the house in Whitefish. SO she "tries" but I can see she is actually putting her legs together and holding it. She is scared. She has hurt many times in the past in these situations. So much stool builds into a ball that it is painful upon exit........and I try to encourage her to get it over with. Shoot, I have been patient all day....and my hands smell like poop still from cleaning up my 7 year old for three days. And it's hot, and we are all exhansted, and I begin to yell at her, trying to tell her to GET IT OVER WITH SO WE CAN GET HOME!!!!!!!! And I lose it. I take the travel pack of wipes and the pull up in my hand and start hitting the port o potty door and growl.....teeth clenched, of course. Did I mention the rental car is right there and Garrett is RAGING!!!!! Here comes Addie and walks right in front of me into the port o potty and starts coaching her sister. She told Ainslee to put all of the negative (ME) away and stop saying she could not do it. Addie is sobbing, trying to encourage her to be positive and just DO IT!!!! I close the potty door and just walk away for a minute. It sounded like Addie was a doula coaching her little sister: Okay, push, 1-2-3...... And it's then I look up at this gorgeous sight before me, the valley, the mountains, the green pastures blowing in the breeze and there's the sign:
WELCOME TO PARADISE, MT!

Need I say more?