Sunday, November 14, 2010

Toilet Seat Covers....gggrrrrrrrr....

My husband, Grouchy, will roll his eyes at this post, but sometimes I just have to get things out onto paper or screen. Hey, it's bound to be cheaper than therapy!!!

Wow, now I think of it, there are two things I want to talk about, now three, but I will stick to #1 and blog separately about #2 and #3 at another time. So here's the thing that has caused me such trauma that I have to share my agony with all of you:

TOILET SEAT COVERS..........those very, very, very thin paper thingies in holders above toilets to "help us keep save and clean." Seriously?? First, how many of you have ever pulled one of those thingies out of the holder without it tearing into at least 5 pieces and rendering useless? Second, how many of you have ever been able to tear the center of it correctly so you can place it on the john without tearing it even more? Third, can anything that thin and fragile REALLY protect us from ANYTHING???? I'll take 10, thanks.

I enter the bathroom ready to do the thing my mom taught me in my childhood. I take a hand full of toilet paper and wipe the seat. Next I take two long pieces of toilet paper and fold each in half, then use them for each side of the seat. There, dry, somewhat clean, and now protected!! But these paper thingies, really!?!?

Wait, I just figured it out. I think they are used to slow the flow of people through the bathroom stalls. THAT'S IT!!!! With the population of the USA booming like it is, I betcha most sewer systems cannot deal with the huge volume of, well, you know. SO they plant these paper thingies as something to help us, but in fact, they are placed there to slow us down. If you have to try two or three of them to get one suitable for use, then it slows turnover of stalls, thus easing up things on the septic systems! Am I genius or what?? Don't answer that.

So there is one of my many random thoughts for the day. I think I will stick with the method my mom taught me once I was tall enough: Hover Method. But then there's a glitch with that now, and that's the flushing under me when I am not done, and that SERIOUSLY grosses me out, but that is dealing with the topic #2 I want to blog on later!!!

Godspeed and yes, the kids are doing great in spite of my insanity!!!


  1. My favorite thing is when they get a little wet, for whatever reason, and stick to your rear when you stand up. That's always nice. :-) You are cracking me up!

  2. those paper film covers are whack.
    so it's times like these when you GET YOUR SQUAT ON.


  3. I figured out the secret to the paper toilet seat covers... 1) put them on the seat, DO NOT punch out the center. 2) pp 3) do your paperwork and flush. EASY PEASY...Try it, you can thank me later. ( your pp does the punching ) : )