No, not about a medical procedure or appointment or blood draw!
It's about the ladies!
Yesterday Garrett and I had most of the day alone together, and it was really dreamy! We went park hopping, grocery cart pushing and then ended the date at the local ice cream shop. I got rocky road on a sugar cone and my date got the usual, a vanilla milkshake. We walked outside to the patio of the ice cream shop where there is a colorful canopy and some chairs. Out under the canopy sat one of the pretty high school girls who works there some and knows Garrett. She sat in a chair, and on either side of her sat young high school dudes who were very obviously enjoying her company or were her close friends or brothers or something like that. Garrett walks over to the three of them and without any hesitation points to the young lady and says,"I want to sit by HER!" And just like that, the dude to the girl's left hops right up and tells Garrett to have his chair. SERIOUSLY??????
So eat your heart out high school heart throbs, college dudes and fighter pilots. My boy has his game on!!!!
Godspeed,
Clara-Leigh
P.S. MY PARENTS ARRIVE TOMORROW!!!! AND THEY SPEND THE NEXT FOUR MONTHS HERE IN THE BUNKHOUSE!!!!! CAN I TELL YOU HOW EXCITING THAT IS?!?!?!?!?!?
Tuesday, May 29, 2012
Saturday, May 26, 2012
Garrett Update and Mommy's Emotional Ramblings
Tonight I plan to blog two different topics. First will be the most important: How's my little buddy Garrett doing? Second, I need to share some things that have been weighing on me. I will warn that if you do not want to hear raw truth from the most sincere, somewhat troubled heart, don't read the second part!!!! I do not intend to drag anyone down, but there are some goings-on lately that I would like to address.
Okay, the really cool part, Garrett!
Our little guy has been doing some really super-cool things lately!! First, he graduated from Kindergarten last Tuesday! He will remain in the same special day class next year and can stay there through 5th grade, but Tuesday he got to go one stage with the elementary school's regular kindergarten classes, sing a musical with them, and get his diploma. He would NOT wear his graduation hat. Just wasn't going to happen, no matter what!!!!
Next, I have to gloat over how he is writing his name again!!! Over two years ago, he was writing his name, then the skill went out the window. Now it is back!!! He is also drawing faces on his magnadoodle board.
Just this past week he got a box of preschool-size Legos out of the toy closet and really latched onto the concept of looking at the instruction/example booklet and building things from seeing them on paper. I am THRILLED to see this type of skill from our little guy!
Oh, and can I tell you how EXCITED I am to report his latest potty skill??? Well, I can and I will, now!
He is wearing underwear almost every day, all day. But wen he has to have a bowel movement, he usually goes in his underwear....or worse. I will try to catch him trying not to poop, then put a diaper or pullup on him. And he gets aggravated in the biggest way. Lately, thanks largely to RaeAnn, his personal care person, has been staying after Garrett to drink his chocolate soy milk with the Miralax in it, and this is getting him more regulated. We increased the dose to 15-% regular adult dose, and it seems to keep him moving almost daily. We have switched out of diapers completely this past week, and Medicaid is covering his pullups....THANK YOU!!!!! He will use the pullups while asleep or when having to poop. Two days ago when we got the new pullups in, Garrett had been inside while I was out at the barn for a bit. When I came back to the house, Garrett said he had poop, and I could feel my heart sink thinking that he had messed in his shorts. But when I checked, he had a pullup on, and I had not put it on! He had felt the poop coming on, and he had gone and changed from pants and underwear into a pullup and shorts. I started calling most of the people I know to tell them about it. I was soooooo excited!! So today I was cooking and Garrett slides over to me and says he is going to put on a pullup. No joke, he had the pullup on his precious, scrawny body in under a minute, but wait, that's not all! ABout 15 seconds after Garrett in his pullup walked back into the kitchen to show me how he had it on, he filled it up with poop!!!! THIS IS HUGE that he is feeling it happening and is willing to take charge!! I am so proud of him.
His vocabulary and conversation are booming!!! He is so chatty and will use words that surprise me.
He is getting more patient in a couple of areas and finally able to talk about patience a little. I can see the wheels turning!
His sleep study results should be back by June 13 for our follow-up appointment.
Oh, and Garrett got onto Addie's horse Big Red one day in front of me with no saddle and rode about 30 minutes. He usually shows no interest in animals, but he rode with me and we laughed, and is was one of my most fond memories to date!
He has started getting a plastic cup out of the kids' plate/cup/bowl drawer, filling it with water from the fridge door, drinking it, and then pouring any extra in the sink and then rinsing out his cup and placing it back into the drawer. That's cool!
He has started doing better staying with me in public. It is still a challenge with every outing, but there is improvement.\\
AND HE IS STARTING TO READ!!! He can sound out some 3-letter words. HUGE!!!!
Now the things that are maybe going downhill:
He cannot for the life of him deal with BUGS.....sees one and is haunted for hours!! Shelby, his developmental therapist, is working on this, but it's sooooo aggravating! It's almost summer!!!!
We usually don't buy kids meals for fast food, but when we do, he cannot deal with the fact he got a toy with the meal but didn't ask for it. He wants me to "take it back and tell them I didn't order the toy!!!
He still has trouble about 30% of the time with yes and no answers. He switches back and forth. He also has trouble with making a decision and sticking with it. He is asked if he wants the cookie I have in my hand. He says no, but when I take a bite, he loses his mind.
Now onto my brain ramblings.
The other day I posted a photo of Garrett online, and a lady commented about how time flies and next thing I know he will be 40. It was so hard not to comment back that I will blink and he will probably be in Heaven about 20 years when he should be turning 40. It's haunting. And while I know this person did not intend to insult or upset me, it did strike a nerve. I let it go until I got a text from a close friend after she read it. She was fired up!!!
I have another friend who is such an angel. Her child is friends with one of my children. I love this friend and I appreciate her, but she has this complaining thing going on. I will be in poop to my elbows, trying to cool dinner, on the phone with Grouchy who lives in Louisiana planting beans for now, and I have to hear about this lady's "exhaustion, tiredness, and worry." It's all relative, I know, but seriously....raising one child, working, hhhmmm. I know it is relative, I know, I know. But I am knocked to the floor when I see her complain, which leads me to the next topic.
Whining moms. Don't get me wrong. I was more of a complainer until the health issues of Garrett's surfaced. Boy has God whipped me into shape. When I was at kindergarten graduation last week, I kept seeing moms grumping at their kid for walking too slow, fact, fussing over little girl's hair. And the kids were so darn cute!!! And then there was Garrett in his nice outfit on stage moving in weird ways to the musical music and not singing a single note, although he knew all the music. He turns his head to the side and bobs it strangely and even flaps his hands. He looked so obviously "special." And I stood there filming the event while my heart was being ripped to shreds. Don't beat your kids, yell at them, abuse them, get all freaked out about a misplaced hair bow. I guess I know I would trade sooooo much to have Garret to be average or normal. SO if you have a normal kiddo, love him or her, and never, ever, ever take a day for granted. It's so painful to walk this path with this sweet little boy and know his life won't be long and that he cannot understand or deal with this world very easily as most do, and to see so many people taking their healthy kiddos and their simple lives for granted. Don't get me wrong, I would never wish bad on anyone, but I do wish that some of these parents could walk in my shoes for one day and then change their perspective. Yes, I took my kiddos for granted before now!!!
I have more to say, but my eyes are crossing and I have a big day tomorrow and it is Grouchy's birthday but he isn't home that day. Serious bummer!!
Godspeed!
CL
Okay, the really cool part, Garrett!
Our little guy has been doing some really super-cool things lately!! First, he graduated from Kindergarten last Tuesday! He will remain in the same special day class next year and can stay there through 5th grade, but Tuesday he got to go one stage with the elementary school's regular kindergarten classes, sing a musical with them, and get his diploma. He would NOT wear his graduation hat. Just wasn't going to happen, no matter what!!!!
Next, I have to gloat over how he is writing his name again!!! Over two years ago, he was writing his name, then the skill went out the window. Now it is back!!! He is also drawing faces on his magnadoodle board.
Just this past week he got a box of preschool-size Legos out of the toy closet and really latched onto the concept of looking at the instruction/example booklet and building things from seeing them on paper. I am THRILLED to see this type of skill from our little guy!
Oh, and can I tell you how EXCITED I am to report his latest potty skill??? Well, I can and I will, now!
He is wearing underwear almost every day, all day. But wen he has to have a bowel movement, he usually goes in his underwear....or worse. I will try to catch him trying not to poop, then put a diaper or pullup on him. And he gets aggravated in the biggest way. Lately, thanks largely to RaeAnn, his personal care person, has been staying after Garrett to drink his chocolate soy milk with the Miralax in it, and this is getting him more regulated. We increased the dose to 15-% regular adult dose, and it seems to keep him moving almost daily. We have switched out of diapers completely this past week, and Medicaid is covering his pullups....THANK YOU!!!!! He will use the pullups while asleep or when having to poop. Two days ago when we got the new pullups in, Garrett had been inside while I was out at the barn for a bit. When I came back to the house, Garrett said he had poop, and I could feel my heart sink thinking that he had messed in his shorts. But when I checked, he had a pullup on, and I had not put it on! He had felt the poop coming on, and he had gone and changed from pants and underwear into a pullup and shorts. I started calling most of the people I know to tell them about it. I was soooooo excited!! So today I was cooking and Garrett slides over to me and says he is going to put on a pullup. No joke, he had the pullup on his precious, scrawny body in under a minute, but wait, that's not all! ABout 15 seconds after Garrett in his pullup walked back into the kitchen to show me how he had it on, he filled it up with poop!!!! THIS IS HUGE that he is feeling it happening and is willing to take charge!! I am so proud of him.
His vocabulary and conversation are booming!!! He is so chatty and will use words that surprise me.
He is getting more patient in a couple of areas and finally able to talk about patience a little. I can see the wheels turning!
His sleep study results should be back by June 13 for our follow-up appointment.
Oh, and Garrett got onto Addie's horse Big Red one day in front of me with no saddle and rode about 30 minutes. He usually shows no interest in animals, but he rode with me and we laughed, and is was one of my most fond memories to date!
He has started getting a plastic cup out of the kids' plate/cup/bowl drawer, filling it with water from the fridge door, drinking it, and then pouring any extra in the sink and then rinsing out his cup and placing it back into the drawer. That's cool!
He has started doing better staying with me in public. It is still a challenge with every outing, but there is improvement.\\
AND HE IS STARTING TO READ!!! He can sound out some 3-letter words. HUGE!!!!
Now the things that are maybe going downhill:
He cannot for the life of him deal with BUGS.....sees one and is haunted for hours!! Shelby, his developmental therapist, is working on this, but it's sooooo aggravating! It's almost summer!!!!
We usually don't buy kids meals for fast food, but when we do, he cannot deal with the fact he got a toy with the meal but didn't ask for it. He wants me to "take it back and tell them I didn't order the toy!!!
He still has trouble about 30% of the time with yes and no answers. He switches back and forth. He also has trouble with making a decision and sticking with it. He is asked if he wants the cookie I have in my hand. He says no, but when I take a bite, he loses his mind.
Now onto my brain ramblings.
The other day I posted a photo of Garrett online, and a lady commented about how time flies and next thing I know he will be 40. It was so hard not to comment back that I will blink and he will probably be in Heaven about 20 years when he should be turning 40. It's haunting. And while I know this person did not intend to insult or upset me, it did strike a nerve. I let it go until I got a text from a close friend after she read it. She was fired up!!!
I have another friend who is such an angel. Her child is friends with one of my children. I love this friend and I appreciate her, but she has this complaining thing going on. I will be in poop to my elbows, trying to cool dinner, on the phone with Grouchy who lives in Louisiana planting beans for now, and I have to hear about this lady's "exhaustion, tiredness, and worry." It's all relative, I know, but seriously....raising one child, working, hhhmmm. I know it is relative, I know, I know. But I am knocked to the floor when I see her complain, which leads me to the next topic.
Whining moms. Don't get me wrong. I was more of a complainer until the health issues of Garrett's surfaced. Boy has God whipped me into shape. When I was at kindergarten graduation last week, I kept seeing moms grumping at their kid for walking too slow, fact, fussing over little girl's hair. And the kids were so darn cute!!! And then there was Garrett in his nice outfit on stage moving in weird ways to the musical music and not singing a single note, although he knew all the music. He turns his head to the side and bobs it strangely and even flaps his hands. He looked so obviously "special." And I stood there filming the event while my heart was being ripped to shreds. Don't beat your kids, yell at them, abuse them, get all freaked out about a misplaced hair bow. I guess I know I would trade sooooo much to have Garret to be average or normal. SO if you have a normal kiddo, love him or her, and never, ever, ever take a day for granted. It's so painful to walk this path with this sweet little boy and know his life won't be long and that he cannot understand or deal with this world very easily as most do, and to see so many people taking their healthy kiddos and their simple lives for granted. Don't get me wrong, I would never wish bad on anyone, but I do wish that some of these parents could walk in my shoes for one day and then change their perspective. Yes, I took my kiddos for granted before now!!!
I have more to say, but my eyes are crossing and I have a big day tomorrow and it is Grouchy's birthday but he isn't home that day. Serious bummer!!
Godspeed!
CL
Thursday, May 24, 2012
Sleep Study #2....It Worked!!!
Garrett's new pulm. doctor in Boise thought a sleep study would be a good idea now since Garrett hasn't had one in years, probably had the first one around two years old, maybe younger. I asked if we could have an overnight EEG done at the same time so we could see what might be misfiring at night. On and off Garrett has many wakings at night and will be up roaming, turning on lights, toys, the fireplace...YIKES!!! Then for months he will sleep all night. We were lucky enough that the hospital agreed to do the EEG and sleep study together!!! COOL!
We arrived at the hospital around 7 in the evening last Wednesday. It took two ladies and about 40-something leads glued to his noggin and sides and legs. Garrett was so not liking all of that, but he held out pretty well......until they brought in the canula for him to wear under his nose to measure the carbon dioxide he blows off as he sleeps. The kicker is that now the canula for the sleep study also has a rubber piece that extends below the nose from the plastic tubing and curves under the top lip and into the month to monitor mouth breathing. Seriously, my sensory kid has survived all the glu and tape and now a nose and mouth deal. GGGRRR. Garrett cried lots and begged lots and lots but finally had on all the gear and fell asleep on his bed. Once he was zonked pretty well, I joined the sleep study tech in her office to watch Garrett's vitals and video. Around 1 am, he woke and pulled the canula out of position, so the tech and I went in to help. Garrett was then awake and angry as a hornet!!! About 40 minutes after that, he went to sleep again. Whew! I slept from about 3 to 6 in a room nearby. When the nurse woke me in the morning, Garrett was happy watching television while she removed the wires and all.
Garrett and I then went on a Krispy Kreme donut break and it was back to work, or school, for him.
We should be getting EEG and sleep info back in mid June.
The photos below are from the morning when the leads were being removed. Garrett was really a pretty good trooper!!
Godspeed,
CL
Monday, April 30, 2012
Another Baby!!! (cow)
It's another girl!!!
And Garrett watched most of the birth unfold and decided her name should be COOKIE! And surprisingly, Ainslee, mom of the whole operation, agreed!!
Here are a few pictures. Oh, and this baby wasn't so cooperative! After feeling around some, I thought she was trying to come out head first with feet behind...very bad....but she was actually hind feet first. SO much for my blind anatomy in the womb. I better get better at that! We are thrilled it is another baby girl!! So no one goes to market this year. They all stay here to go on to be moms. What joy!!!! Ainslee is on cloud 9 as all four of the cows we now have are hers. She will show pairs at the fair this summer: each mom and baby together.
Garrett actually pet the first heifer, Vivian, today. He shows very little interest in animals, so it was neat that he wanted to watch some.
Godspeed,
Clara-Leigh
The vet and I PULL!!!
Baby out!!
Beth meets Cookie.
Proud rancher Ainslee.
Ainslee with Vivian, the first calf....from Saturday.
Garrett hanging around to watch.
Another photo of Saturday's calf Vivian.
Ainslee and I doctoring Cookie's belly button.
And Garrett watched most of the birth unfold and decided her name should be COOKIE! And surprisingly, Ainslee, mom of the whole operation, agreed!!
Here are a few pictures. Oh, and this baby wasn't so cooperative! After feeling around some, I thought she was trying to come out head first with feet behind...very bad....but she was actually hind feet first. SO much for my blind anatomy in the womb. I better get better at that! We are thrilled it is another baby girl!! So no one goes to market this year. They all stay here to go on to be moms. What joy!!!! Ainslee is on cloud 9 as all four of the cows we now have are hers. She will show pairs at the fair this summer: each mom and baby together.
Garrett actually pet the first heifer, Vivian, today. He shows very little interest in animals, so it was neat that he wanted to watch some.
Godspeed,
Clara-Leigh
Sunday, April 29, 2012
I'm a Great Grandmother!!!...warning....bovine birth photos!!
It's true!!! I am a great grandma!!! Ainslee bought two Hereford heifers to show last year, and then she had them bred last summer. One of them calves yesterday, so Ainslee named me Great Grandmother!!! I never knew I would have this title at age 37 years of age!! I am honored! Both cows are due to calve on May 8. We can predict pretty closely since they were artificially inseminated. So when I looked outside while preparing Garrett's mito cocktail doses for the day and saw that the cow, Adelaide, was holding her tail up in a strange way, I went to check on her. Sure enough, there was a tiny bit of her bag of water showing, and she was arching her back every few minutes. I woke Ainslee, but she was NOT impressed with the slowness of the process and said she was bored!!! Ainslee went back out a half hour later and came sprinting back up the coffee-wine path from the bunkhouse/barn to the house. She was screaming, "The baby's head and front legs are out!!! COME NOW!!!!" So I shot this first photo before we got too close. Momma cow was a trooper, a first-time mom. She diligently cleaned the calf and was okay with us being around. Not all moms, cow or human are like that!!!! We had a designated calving area we had kept the cows out of so it was clean and dry. We had 3 bales of clean wheat straw to bed onto the ground so Baby would be kept clean and lessen risk of infection. SO when it got close we planned to lead the cows to the clean area and make them all cozy and clean. But none of this was to happen OUR way! We thought we had all morning to wait for the baby. But nope! While Baby was half out, Ainslee ran to grab some straw to place under the calf so we could keep the cord clean until we could treat it with Betadine. Adelaide had picked a poop and mud area to lay in, of course. When Ainslee returned and spread the straw, I said, "Ainslee, let's pull the calf's front legs a bit to get her the rest of the way out and onto the clean straw. Ainslee was so excited and possibly overwhelmed that instead of grabbing one of the calf's legs, she walked behind me and while I picked up legs, she pulled me back by my waist! It was so funny!!! So here are photos of our first calf born on our place. She is named Vivian after our dear friend Lisa's little girl, Vivian, who went to heaven too soon. Vivian the angel and the heifer have the SAME BIRTHDAY!!!! Ainslee made sure I called Lisa to be sure it was okay to name the heifer Vivian, and Lisa was delighted to get this news on her Vivian's birthday.
And Garrett says the calf is not cute so it needs someone to come get it!!! He just isn't ever really impressed with animals....sigh.
But Ainslee is on CLOUD NINE and is so proud of her first calf! Now we are holding our breath that the next calf is a girl, too, so there will be many, many more babies on the way in the coming years!!!!
Godspeed,
Clara-Leigh
Friday, April 27, 2012
Seeing Changes.....Waiting
The past month has been tough for our little man. While at his half day special ed program, Garrett is learning more like his alphabet, sounds, his address, phone number and such, he is declining in just his total emotional togetherness. And it is getting concerning. Yesterday we saw his developmental pediatrician and mentioned Garrett's increased anxiety, screaming, ticks, etc. The doctor thinks he is just undergoing growth in the academic things but then struggling more emotionally as his brain energy is being depleted with the learning. He thinks we can adjust one med from twice daily to the total dose in the morning to help with his anxiety. So no overall increase but a change in dose time. We hope it will give better coverage throughout the school hours. For the entire year of school until the past month, Garrett did his very best there!!! His teachers were so surprised when I came for a school morning for a party and we stayed past his usual dismissal time and he started screaming about something. They had NEVER seen him lose it....SERIOUSLY????? Yep! Seems they get his best, and don't get me wrong, I am THRILLED he does well there! I can send him with no guilt, knowing they love him and that he enjoys it there completely. He has had his quirks at school, sure. He has just started being able to walk through the gym for a shortcut to class after lunch. PE freaks him out with the noise in the gym, and sometimes the lunchroom is too loud for him. He loves music class!!! But starting 3 to 4 weeks ago, his school notebook with his daily info sheet has said his anxiety is increasing, he is having ticks and stimming lots, and he sometimes just checks out on them and ignores things. Not the usual for the past year. I was getting worried, and we moved the developmental pediatrics appointment early by a month to yesterday, but still no real fix.
We have re-instituted naps to the best of our ability. He will easily sleep 2 hours, and I think his little body is being challenged with energy now. Mito is a disease of energy crises, and knowing this, we can try to increase his rest, thus hoping for an increase in brain energy to help him hold himself together better.
Today he came home from school with his daily info sheet note saying that the class had a session about the earthworm, and had a real worm in class. Apparently it totally freaked Garrett out, and he certainly didn't touch it, but it also wore him out, I think. I put him in my bed and stayed in bed to get him to sleep. He slept from 1:00 until 6:45, and I have no doubt he will sleep all night also. He is just beat. Funny thing is that like Mito has been in him for years, it isn't visible in him walking worse or dragging physically, but it is all in the brain and how he deals with things.
So tonight I find myself at the edge of the waterfall paddling upstream furiously in my mind on one hand while on the other hand knowing in my heart that this change could very well be a sort of regression or beginning of a downturn in his health. I described it to Garrett's developmental therapist like this:
We know that at some point Garrett will go downhill. It is like driving on a cloudy day and learning that there is a storm with heavy rain ahead. You keep driving because you have to, and as the rain begins, you continue, wondering if what you are in is the bad stuff or if it is yet to come. I am lame on analogies tonight, but that sort-of says it. It is coming. We do not yet have a way to stop it, and every little thing makes the worry stir. And make no mistakes, he looks good physically, and he is getting taller....and cuter....but this emotional/mental stuff is HORROR. I feel like I am parenting a person after surgery who is on morphine! He makes so little sense sometimes with the things he asks for and then changes his mind and then reverts back to the original thing he wanted. It is baffling and exhausting from a mental standpoint for everyone in the house.
And then there are our girls. Addie and Ainslee have each fallen into crying times in the past month, coming to me with,"Mom, why does it have to be so unfair? Why can't he just play and not change his mind and not scream at us for saying a word he thinks isn't the right one or singing a tune that HE doesn't dictate?" Wow. I try to explain, but they have heard it a hundred times. It still doesn't take away the feeling of complete loss of control or normal in our home. It is hard. And I pray God keeps his word that He gave me when He once told me the girls would be better for this experience with Garrett. I can only have faith in His promise!!!
And in the end, we will still lose this little guy young in life, and we will have to pray we balanced it out well and can focus on the good and not the bad. I pray we run the race the best we can for Garrett's sake and our own so we can reflect on his time here and know we did all we could and loved all we could.
Thanks for listening!!!
Clara-Leigh
We have re-instituted naps to the best of our ability. He will easily sleep 2 hours, and I think his little body is being challenged with energy now. Mito is a disease of energy crises, and knowing this, we can try to increase his rest, thus hoping for an increase in brain energy to help him hold himself together better.
Today he came home from school with his daily info sheet note saying that the class had a session about the earthworm, and had a real worm in class. Apparently it totally freaked Garrett out, and he certainly didn't touch it, but it also wore him out, I think. I put him in my bed and stayed in bed to get him to sleep. He slept from 1:00 until 6:45, and I have no doubt he will sleep all night also. He is just beat. Funny thing is that like Mito has been in him for years, it isn't visible in him walking worse or dragging physically, but it is all in the brain and how he deals with things.
So tonight I find myself at the edge of the waterfall paddling upstream furiously in my mind on one hand while on the other hand knowing in my heart that this change could very well be a sort of regression or beginning of a downturn in his health. I described it to Garrett's developmental therapist like this:
We know that at some point Garrett will go downhill. It is like driving on a cloudy day and learning that there is a storm with heavy rain ahead. You keep driving because you have to, and as the rain begins, you continue, wondering if what you are in is the bad stuff or if it is yet to come. I am lame on analogies tonight, but that sort-of says it. It is coming. We do not yet have a way to stop it, and every little thing makes the worry stir. And make no mistakes, he looks good physically, and he is getting taller....and cuter....but this emotional/mental stuff is HORROR. I feel like I am parenting a person after surgery who is on morphine! He makes so little sense sometimes with the things he asks for and then changes his mind and then reverts back to the original thing he wanted. It is baffling and exhausting from a mental standpoint for everyone in the house.
And then there are our girls. Addie and Ainslee have each fallen into crying times in the past month, coming to me with,"Mom, why does it have to be so unfair? Why can't he just play and not change his mind and not scream at us for saying a word he thinks isn't the right one or singing a tune that HE doesn't dictate?" Wow. I try to explain, but they have heard it a hundred times. It still doesn't take away the feeling of complete loss of control or normal in our home. It is hard. And I pray God keeps his word that He gave me when He once told me the girls would be better for this experience with Garrett. I can only have faith in His promise!!!
And in the end, we will still lose this little guy young in life, and we will have to pray we balanced it out well and can focus on the good and not the bad. I pray we run the race the best we can for Garrett's sake and our own so we can reflect on his time here and know we did all we could and loved all we could.
Thanks for listening!!!
Clara-Leigh
Thursday, April 19, 2012
Beautiful Ainslee and her Angry Love Birds
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