Wednesday, January 18, 2012

She Took It On Herself.........POWERFUL TESTIMONY

This morning while Grouchy was talking to a college friend of his, Kimberly, he walked over to me and said, "Here, tell Clara-Leigh your story." So I greeted Kimberly, whom I have only talked to a couple of times but whom I absolutely appreciate and respect for her kindness to us and her incredible work in an organization she worked to create that helps returning veterans and their families have a camp-type experience that gives the entire family r & r, counseling and the patriot's welcome they deserve. And then this story.......was shared via phone:

A few days ago Kimberly walked into the grocery store to get a few things while her husband waited in the car. She walked into the veggie section and noticed a boy who was behaving in a way that made her realize right away that he was probably autistic. The boy was playing with signs in the area and had just started to twirl and touch a promo sign hanging overhead and just had "that look." Kimberly noticed the mom right away with one of those "I better hurry up and get this shopping done while he is somewhat occupied" looks and also noticed the mom had another child in her shopping cart. About this time a man walks up to the boy and grabs him by the arm and begins to verbally scold him for playing with the hanging sign. The mom turns to the boy and the man and begins APOLOGIZING to the man!!! At this point, Kimberly said that the mom became me, and that getting to hear our stories through our blog, she knew she had to do something. So she acted, right then and there! But not in a way some would have with anger and negativity. She brilliantly turned it around and approached him, essentially telling him to stop, but then he started telling her about how well-behaved his children are. And then she dug her heels in. "So do your children have any issues? I mean, do they have any problems or challenges or anything like that?" WHAT?? Isn't that about the most prefectly-formed method of dealing with someone like this?!? He says his kids have no issues, but as it evolves, the other shoppers have stopped walking and shopping and are now all focused on the confrontation at hand. The man starts the babbling about his kiddos and then turns and walks away with one of those lame flips of the wrist to put off the other adult in the conversation, Kimberly. As he walks away, Kimberly sees that no only has the mom teared-up, but she is now crying. Kimberly hugs her and bursts into tears as well, and then the shoppers start the APPLAUSE!!!!!! This could have been a movie scene! Needless to say, she returned to her husband in their car, and she was a crying mess telling him to, "Just drive!" I am so inspired by her willingness to take up for OUR KIDS!!!! Each of these children is created by God, and not only should a mother of an autistic or "special" or disabled child EVER need to apologize as she is as raw and real and exhausted and kind as any woman on earth, but she did NOT ask to be in this situation, nor did she EVER intend for her child to impose on any other human in any way. But it happens. We have to shop, occasionally go to a gym for a workout, take our family to church or a movie.....We find ourselves feeling like we need to tiptoe around the rest of the normal world, feeling like we don't want to disturb, disrupt or inconvenience anyone. But in truth, our children have the right to be who they are as they own this air we breath as much as the man in the produce section. It's true!

Kimberly is such an amazing lady, and her willingness to step forward on our behalf for another mother and child brings me to tears tonight. THANK YOU!!!!!!

Let us all use moments like this to inspire us to the ultimate compassion, love and kindness that God pressed into each of our souls as He sent us to Earth. Stand up, don't be afraid, and be an example.

Godspeed and be strong!!!
Clara-Leigh

Workin' the System

After a day of school, then Garrett's Personal Care person coming for three hours, Shelby (from previous post), his developmental therapist, arrived around 4 pm only to discover that Garrett has taken it upon himself to draw "Mat Man" on the wall..........the off-white wall of our 5 year old house.....with DARK BLUE MARKER!!!!!



A bit of history: If you have never heard of Mat Man, he is basically a smiley face with a body, legs and arms and is used in most occupational therapy and special education rooms as kids who do not naturally begin drawing happy faces or stick figures are taught the basics over time, which for Garrett has been, oh, about 4 years now. But to date he had never drawn one unprompted, on his own, for his own pleasure. Well, that all changed!!!



When we arrived home, Garrett and Shelby met us at the kitchen, and Shelby hands me our camera and says, "You might want to look at this. Might be a blog!" And here is what she showed to me:





Much like a previous blog when a visiting little boy lost his mind trying to make sense of Garrett not understanding a video game, when in a former life I might have been saddened or angered, this time I had the same thing happen!! I started laughing, and then almost crying because the fact he drew on the walls of our five year old house's walls with dark blur marker on almost white walls means HE CAN DRAW MAT MAN!!!!! ALL BY HIMSELF!!!!!!! HOLY COW!!!!!


But here is the very best part. The artist worked in secret, apparently with no one noticing when he was creating his masterpiece, so when Shelby saw it she called him to it and talked to him about how "we" do not use markers or colors on the wall. But you know what HE SAID????? "But Shelby, it's YOU!!!!" And then he probably smiled that great smile and flashed those magical blue eyes and made her turn into a useless, loving blob of love and understanding!!!


And that, my friend, is how our boy is workin' the system, at least for now. I am sure he has more great tactics up his sleeve (which he is currently addicted to chewing on, thus ruining all his long sleeve shirts and sweaters).


Oh, and by the time we got home Shelby had ALL of the blue off of the wall, thus the need for the photo! And there is another blog for another day......having caregivers who love our family enough to savor the good, entertaining, hilarious and tough things right there alongside us.


Godspeed,


Clara-Leigh

Tuesday, January 17, 2012

The Tears Just Pour

The tears, they spill out, flow over, squirt out, and sometimes flood the room I am occupying when I let myself take in all the love and support our little guys receives. Just today we had a personal care services worker who cares for Garrett four days per week hand over most of her days to a new worker, and not because of any problem but because she was working with Garrett temporarily as the PCS agency was trying to find someone who lives closer to us. Both of these young ladies are beautiful, smart, kind and compassionate, but seeing one have to step away and thinking of how special she is to me after just a month of working in our home with Garrett....WOW!!!! I CRIED!!!

I am one of those people who rarely will cry at a funeral but will use a whole box of Kleenex at a wedding!!! There is just something miraculous and very emotional about that bonding of two people....well, unless you know you are attending someone's "first wedding," as Grouchy once described a friend's upcoming ceremony. Let's face it, we could all tell it wouldn't work.....but the two young lovers could not!! And when it comes to the emotions I have toward the people who work with Garrett, I am a total, useless mush!!!

I cry at the end of a school year as we say so-long to teachers, therapists, and aides. I cry when a therapist moves away or changes jobs and says goodbye. I cry when a caregiver has to move on to other clients and away from our lives. And I even lose it sometimes at doctors' offices when the doctors and nurses love Garrett so completely!! What a mess!!!!

But for now I want to introduce to Garrett's Shelby. She has probably graced the blog before, but this is a recent photo of them together. Shelby is Garrett's developmental therapist. She is a full time high-schooler, and a perfectly delightful, beautiful, fun and SOOOO SWEET young lady. She has out total trust and complete appreciation for the 22+ hours she has Garrett every week. And this web site doesn't have enough space available for me to expand on how amazing she is with Garrett!



Garrett and "His Shelby"


For now I don't have to cry about "Garrett's Shelby," and I know someday she will have to move on and continue with her dreams......or maybe we will lock her in our guest house and feed her and care for her but never, ever let her leave!!!!


Shelby, thank you for loving Baby Robot so much!!! We adore you!!!!


Godspeed and thank a caregiver today!!!!
Clara-Leigh

Sunday, January 15, 2012

THAT'S Exactly How We Feel......but can't express it!

"WHY DOESN'T HE UNDERSTAND!!?!?!?!?!??!!"

We recently had some very dear friends fly from the eastern side if the USA to spend 5 days with us. We had a marvelous time complete with campfire, 2 days snow skiing, horseback riding, a night at a fun hotel with indoor pool and just hours of kiddos playing! Our friends have two kiddos, a third grade daughter and a first grade son. They are such fun, kind kiddos, and we cherish having time to really get to know the kids finally! We knew the parents from Grouchy's days of flying F/A-18 Hornet fighter jets in the navy and have stayed in pretty close touch over the past 14 or so years. Beautiful people!!

The day they arrived, Garrett and their boy, who is a year older than Garrett, began to play. Well, it was more like the friend playing with Garrett's things and Garrett following him around chatting his ears off all the while! But an interesting thing happened. Both boys got their Nintendo DSi games out and sat together in Grouchy's recliner and played. I was marveling at how "normal" a sight it was to see Garrett just quietly sitting and interacting with a pal. At one point, they decided to play "versus," or put the same game in each DSi and choose to race cars against each other but both be able to see it. Garrett agreed, but I knew he probably didn't know what on earth it meant and like he does with the Wii, would NOT want to compete against anyone. Don't know why, but it's just that way with him. The other boy was so kind to try to show Garrett how to set it all up, and they got ready to play, but Garrett freaked out a bit and just decided he didn't want to play "versus." The other boy tried to explain, encourage and mmotivate Garrett to play, but Garrett just turned off his good attitude and quit trying. At this point, Garrett's friend jumps up out of the recliner, stands to face Garrett and starts screaming, "WHY DOESN'T HE UNDERSTAND......AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!" Then the child takes off running away from the recliner and down our hall into Garrett's room, screaming in frustration all the while. Of course his amazing mom sprints back to talk to him to try to explain how to handle Garrett. And while maybe I should have found myself feeling bad for Garrett having a pal scream at him, I didn't feel like that at all! Instead, I stood in the kitchen in awe of the situation, a smile beginning to come across my face as I realized that Grouchy and I feel JUST LIKE THAT soooooooo many times daily when it comes to all things Garrett. Bad thing is that while it is okay for a first grader to react to Garrett like he did, it ISN'T okay for Grouchy and me to show how we REALLY feel!!!! I shared this with the boy's mom, and she was worried about Garrett and so kind to him and to me. I may have caught her off guard when I told her that her son said what I am usually thinking but cannot! And I meant it!!! Our friends had briefed both of their sweet kiddos on dealing with Garrett, but you cannot expect a normal elementary age child to really be able to tolerate things that are so darn weird every minute!!! The little boy was so kind to share so willingly with Garrett. They took turns on 4-wheelers and did enjoy some play time together. But this moment will never leave my memory as I see glimpses of the insanity through others' eyes!

I guess it all boils down to the hard part of being the grown-up. It's having to save face, be the example, increase tolerance.....for us anyway. Absent are the days where we can have a kid over to play with Garrett and not have to explain the exceptions we have to make or the reasons there is no reason in Garrett's dealings sometimes.....many times. It has to be hard for other children, but then again, maybe not. At least they can express their bubbling-over of emotion verbally and let the frunstation flow. I guess you all let me do that here, so I need to be thankful!!

Lots going on here, but off to do my nightly reading of the Bible as I picked up an awesome Bible designed to be read over the course of a year. I have always wanted to do this, but finally bought a Bible organized for this purpose and made myself stop everything else and focus on God's word every evening.

Many fun things to blog about soon, but not tonight. PLEASE pray for my online friend Debbie and her children, especially Hudson, who has Mito and recently started the experimental miracle drug. And the day he started it, his daddy, passed away. I sometimes wonder if this life can be anymore cruel. But then I try to keep remembering.....It isn't about THIS life.......

Godspeed,
Clara-Leigh

Saturday, December 31, 2011

Goodbye Tough Year! Bring On the Blessings!!!

2011 had so many blessings, mainly the wonderful people we have met, a new church family, a very healthy year for our kiddos, and the amazing blessing of Medicaid services for Garrett which has brought us even closer to the loving caregivers who help with him so much!!! And lets not forget those people who touch our lives by teaching and caring for Garrett. And of COURSE our time with family and friends was dreamy!! However, when I look back, I must admit that 2011 was the toughest year I have had. So many challenges, twisting turns of life....nothing truly horrifying or tragic in the "normal" sense of those terms, but it was honestly a bumpy year.

But I will not dwell on that!! Instead, I wish to bid farewell to 2011 and try to be thankful for the inspiration, endurance, patience and peace that has come from enduring the year. It is always the tough times that make us appreciate the better ones, the valleys to help us enjoy the peaks, and so on. I am glad to put it behind and look ahead ANTICIPATING God's blessings, riches and love. The slate is clean and for crying out loud, I have NEW PLANNER PAGES, so of course the world is a better place, HA!!!!

Garrett enjoyed having Grouchy's parents here this week!! Shoot, we all enjoyed them being here. It was his dad's first visit since we moved here, and we made the most of our time, I think. Grouchy had to be gone for part of their visit as he had to go work for a while. Garrett certainly enjoyed the love only grandparents can provide!

I have some Garrett funnies to share, but my eyes REALLY want me to go to sleep!! Addie and Ainslee want to stay up another 35 minutes to see in the first new year they have been able to stay awake for, but that time seems SOOOOO far away!!!

As for resolutions, I can only resolve to do my best.....my parents taught me that from day one, and it is always the best policy!

Godspeed,
Clara-Leigh

Monday, December 26, 2011

Caught a Cat On a Fishing Line

So looks like we may name Ainslee's new kitten "Catfish" thanks to today's adventure!! A couple of weeks ago we caught two wild kittens on our little ranch. They had teased us for a couple of weeks just letting us see the three of them scram back into our large stacks of hay bales,but we couldn't seem to catch them! One day while we were doing school in our room over our garage, we were at our desks facing a huge window that faces the mountains to the west and our alfalfa field, the girls started yelling, "MOM, the KITTENS!!!" And there was momma cat and her three kittens heading out on a hunting lesson. They were far enough from the stacks of hay that we felt we had time to go try to get them. We grabbed a couple of plastic storage box lids and got hats and boots on and RAN outside as quietly as possible. Momma cat deserted her babies real quickly, and the three babies ran down into this 6 foot deep and 15 foot wide empty irrigation canal. Of course the girls tagged me as the one to do the actual grabbing, but I had on my work gloves so felt fairly safe! One kitten shot off past us to the hay, but the other two went down into the big irrigation ditch. Can I interject here that I LOVE my kids!?!?!? SO I dove down the steep ditch bank and almost skit down on my chin! Some tumbleweeds were all caught up together in the ditch, and one at a time we cornered the two remaining kittens under tumbleweed tangles, and Addie and Ainslee would distract them and I would grab. They were both grey striped kittens, but one had a little white and orange on it. It was the calmer of the two. After losing one of our last kittens to a vanishing and another to an incident with the garage door (quite tragic for the kids since they found her...dead), I told the girls we would raise and tame these kittens to barn and stable life as to hopefully prolong their 9 lives better than the last pair of hay kittens. SO we fixed up a large wire dog crate with a small crate inside so they had a cave to sleep in. We made a little box, and the girls kept them fed and watered and brought them in sime each day to tame them. Then IT happened. Ainslee accidently left the wire crate door unlatched, and the kittens both escaped and were not wanting to be caught. I even tried for over an hour by myself yesterday, but the kittens are getting big and very quick!

We drove to Boise today to pick up Grouchy's parents who flew up from Louisiana for the week. We got home and went to take them over to the bunkhouse, and right away Ainslee took Grouchy's mom, DiDi, to see her kittens.....who were still loose in the barn. And a couple minutes after they went from the bunkhouse out into the barn, Ainslee comes in crying and saying something about a kitten and a hook. A WHAT???? The kitten had managed to get a fish hook attached to a line on a pole up through her top lip and the barb end coming out of one of her nostrils. OUCH!!!! DiDi was holding the line and waiting for us to bring a towel to catch the kitten as it was hissing and very scared. We grabbed it and cut the line and took it into the house. We then treated the injured area, hook and all, with betadine and then clipped the barb off with my Mito bracelet-making wire pliers, and it easily slid out. We then cleaned the hole and wrapped the kitten in a soft blanket of Ainslee's where it has spent most of the evening purring happily! SO thus the name possibility....a cat caught with a fishing pole....Teresa, you might be right!! CATFISH!!! Ainslee isn't buying it, but we will work on her!

So another first for our family. We caught a cat with a fishing pole!! Only us. Promise!!!

Many other weird things have happened to us lately, but I haven't had the time to report on those, but I will. Here's a sneak peak of some recent headlines:

"Clara-Leigh survives jury duty in a tiny wild west town 40 miles from home where "you better bring a sack lunch 'cause there isn't food in this town"

"Unmanned car rolls out of its parking space at WalMart and smashes a large dent into Clara-Leigh's car"

See, you just have to read these blogs because they can bring so much useless info and entertainment to your home!!!!

I should blog about Christmas, and will. It was a wonderful day. It was just the 5 of us in our Idaho home Christmas day, and while it was different and sad being away from our LA and AL families, there was something wonderfully calm and peaceful about just being here, going to the Christmas Eve candlelight service and Christmas Day service and keeping Garrett in his groove and calm....sort-of!!! The kiddos were way spoiled with too many cool gifts, we enjoyed reading the Christmas stories in the Bible, delivered some pies to our dear neighbors/friends, and then went to bed at a reasonable hour even!!!

I also want to blog about the year in review. It will probably be a long one.....not all cheery, but overall insightful and full of thankfulness, reflection, and a depth of love and growth I cannot claim during any other period of my life. I really should stop here and get sleep to recover from the past 4 nights of past-midnight work trying to get 2 iPads and an iTouch synced and loaded with lots of youtube videos and aps for my kiddos. Let's say I have learned A LOT in that time!! I have also learned to check under the tree FIRST when a gift is missing........at 2 a.m. Christmas morning, I found it.....wrapped.....under the tree......just like I had planned the day it came in the mail.......I NEED SLEEP!!!

Oh, and thanks to my parents for the electric mattress pad...oh my.....life was good..... now it is GREAT!!! It's the little creature comforts that make a big difference for me these days!!!

Looking forward to a wonderful week with Grouchy's parents!!!! And BEGGING God for some now so we can FINALLY ski!!!!! Also looking forward to many visitors in the coming months!!! Can't wait to see the Gusinde family in a couple of weeks and then Aunt Beth and Emma and Colton in late February!!!

Christ the Savior is BORN!!!!
Godspeed,
CL